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Sucked in, fitness fans

The Oscar Mayer P3 Chicken with carameised sugars, Cheddar & Dry Roasted Peanuts Portable Protein Pack is not the joke. This is the joke…

Processed meats don’t crack a mention in any of the current diet fads. With good reason. Oscar Mayer makes hot dogs, bologna, bacon, ham and sandwich turkey. Owner, Kraft, has a probem. 

So the Oscar Mayer P3 Chicken with carameised sugars, Cheddar & Dry Roasted Peanuts Portable Protein Pack - and its Protein Pack siblings - are not meant to be jokes. They are blatantly desperate bids to be in with the in crowd. 

The ad that launched the range is a joke. And fitness fanatics are its target. 

Gullible gym members were invited to sign up for a new-now-wow magic workout concept, FRIQ, and its new-now-wow magic fit food, FRIQ.

So, of course, the first session was a sell-out. 

friq fuel 2

The FRIQ instructor was ridiculous. The workout, even more so. Fit fans rolled around in bubble wrap, did solo slow dancing and stomped imaginary grapes, egged on by war whoops like, “I want you to work harder than a woman delivering a 14-pound baby!” 

Then they were invited to sample FRIQ Fuel, a sludgy-brown goop that looked (ironically) a lot like what people pass after eating tainted luncheon meat.

friq fuel product 

…And judging by the samplers’ responses, tasted pretty close to how that smells. 

The moral? Of course, there’s one – this story is part of the AdNews Challenge launch newsletter. It’s, “keep it real, kids.” [aka, KIRK]. Listen to your body rather than being sucked in by a(nother) fad. 

Meanwhile enjoy the prank. If it makes you blush, good. KIRK on (from here):